


Meeting the Family

by monroesherlock



Category: Amazing Spider-Man (2012), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, Spider-Man (Movieverse), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Multi, Superfamily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-11-18 00:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monroesherlock/pseuds/monroesherlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous asked you:<br/>can you do a fic where peter brings home a girl and tony and steve completely embarrass him? thanks :)<br/> I said sure. So this is my attempt at that prompt. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meeting the Family

Meeting the Family 

“I really don’t think you understand me. As a matter of fact, I think you’re taking steps to not understand me at all.” Peter Parker Stark-Rogers knew he was making a bad decision. He was a smart kid (always had been) and typically made good choices. This was not one of them.  
“They’re your parents! How bad could they be? After all, they raised you.” Gwen Stacy. The prettiest girl he knew (sans Natasha but come on, you don’t describe a ‘woman’ with the word ‘girl’) was his girlfriend. He should have known she’d want to meet his parents eventually. He’d entertained the idea of having Bruce and Natasha as stand ins.   
“You haven’t met them. I don’t exactly have an ordinary family.” Peter sighed.  
“No one does. Everyone says their parents are so weird but they never are. C’mon, you’ve met mine.” Gwen laughed.  
“Yeah, they were great. But my family is so much different-”  
“I don’t see how.” Gwen cut him off. “You don’t seem to be able to produce a tangible reason for me not to meet them so we’re going now.”  
“Gwen…” Peter couldn't ignore the determined look on her face. She wasn't going to let it go until she got her way and she knew he’d cave eventually.  
“Fine.” Peter finally conceded. “But I warned you, whatever they do or say? You can’t hold it against me.”  
“I promise I won’t.”  
\--  
“This is Stark Tower.” Gwen said when they entered the lobby.  
“Yeah, it’s not an easy place to miss.” Peter shrugged and waved at the receptionist. “I will admit, you picked a good day. Tuesday is movie day. Everyone should be here.” He said.  
“You whole family lives here?” Gwen asked incredulously.  
“Yeah, we’re not a big group so there’s more than enough space. There’s the elevator, we’re just gonna head on up.” Peter pushed the up button and waited for the doors to open.  
“Peter, you live in Stark Tower?” Gwen reaffirmed. He could feel her starting to connect the dots.  
“Yes.”  
“The home of the Avengers.”  
“The very same.”  
The doors swooshed open and the couple stepped on board.   
“It moves faster than normal elevators so brace yourself.” He warned her quickly. Peter and Gwen rode the elevator up a few floors before it stopped.  
"This isn't our floor." Peter muttered as he reached to press the button again. The doors swished open and Clint Barton stepped through.  
"Pete? You're never home this early on movie night. I thought you were trying to avoid us." Clint laughed.  
"No, not avoiding." Peter laughed nervously. Clint had obviously just come from the range; he was covered in sweat and still had his bow strapped to his back.  
"So, you going to introduce me or am I just to assume that I'm hallucinating about the girl standing next to you? I am known to have a very vivid imagination." Clint waggled his eyebrows and Gwen had to cover her mouth to suppress her laughter.  
"I don't know, you look exhausted. There's a good chance that you could be hallucinating." Peter suggested. Gwen punched him in the shoulder.  
"Hi, I'm Gwen Stacy." She said.  
"Nice to meet you Gwen. I'm Clint. You’re prettier than most to the things Pete brings back here but they’re typically bugs so it’s really no contest."  
"Yeah that's Uncle Clint. Hey we're heading up so do you mind?" Peter gestured for Clint to step out of the elevator.  
"Oh, I'm heading up to. Your dad wants feedback on the adjustments he made." Clint replied easily. "Besides, this will give me more time to get to know your fair Gwendolyn."  
"No Clint. No." Peter's eye twitched in irritation.  
"You know Gwen, I used to be Pete's favorite uncle."  
"Please not this again. Get over it! She doesn't want to hear that story."  
“Actually I do.”   
"And then I find out that I've been demoted in favor of good ole uncle Thor. It just breaks my heart."  
"That's not what happened."  
"True story Gwen, true story. Peter's been a heart breaker since the age of six. He wouldn't even share his pop tarts with me, but he would with Thor. I just don’t understand."  
"You don't even like pop tarts! And I was six! Everyone was my favorite uncle! Even Tasha!"  
"See Gwen, he was two-timing me with everyone. Watch out, this one's a rapscallion. You might want to go looking for someone else."  
"Oh my god this is why I never bring friends home. You people are insane!" Peter put his head in his hands.  
"You're just friends? Huh, either you have ridiculous standards or you're gay. Not that that’s a problem around here. Bruce suspects it’s something in the drinking water." Clint shrugged. Gwen burst into giggles. It was clear she'd spent most of the ride up trying not to laugh.  
"You know what? I'm telling Natasha and Bruce that you're picking on me again. We'll see who's laughing then." Peter threatened.  
"Please, they both love me. I'm irresistible." Clint winked at Gwen. "He's so easy to get riled up. Like a tiny puppy, don't you think?" He laughed easily.  
Gwen just continued to laugh. "Is this what your entire family is like?"  
"Nah. I'm the normal one. Everyone else is much much worse." Clint leaned against the back of the elevator when it opened. "I'll let you guys get out. Warn me if your parents are naked, okay? We don’t need a repeat of last Thursday." Clint gave him a thumbs up.  
"Naked?" Gwen asked quietly.  
"Don't listen to him. He's crazy. As a matter of fact, disregard anything any one says for the rest of the night." Peter instructed.

"Noted. So it really is always like this?"  
"Always."  
"And your parents...they're part of the Avengers. That's your big secret." Gwen said. It was more of a statement than a question.  
"Yeah, that would be it."  
"Wow. That's really...wow."  
"Yeah. That's typically the reaction I get."  
"So when he was talking about Thor..."  
"He meant the actual Thor who surprisingly is a much better uncle." Peter led her down the hall and into what she presumed to be his living room.  
“Peter? Is that you?”   
“Yeah Pops, it’s me.” Peter called back.  
Steve came around the corner wrapped in a towel. “You’re earlier than-” His eyes finally landed on Gwen. “Oh…you brought… a young lady home.” Steve seemed in a daze like he couldn't believe that Gwen was real.  
“Pops. Please…pants!” Steve looked down at himself and yelped.  
“Oh God! Sorry!” Steve backed out of the room before shouting, “Tony! Get some clothes on, Peter brought a girl home!”  
\--  
“They’re not that bad.” Gwen whispered. They all sat in the living room, Tony and Steve finally fully clothed. Tony’s eyes flickered in between the two and Peter debated on whether or not he wanted to slam his head into a wall. It wouldn't be that bad. Unconsciousness didn't seem like that bad of an alternative.   
“So…your name is Gwen? You two go to school together?" Tony asked.  
"Yes. We have almost every class together." Gwen confirmed. Peter fought the urge to strangle her. It was like she wanted to make his life all the more difficult.  
"Interesting, this is our first time hearing about you, Gwen. You would think that if Peter suddenly decided to bring a female friend home, we would at least know who she is. Especially one as fascinating as you." Tony's eyes flickered to Peter who shrugged.  
“There’s lots of stuff I don’t tell you guys. I’m a teenage boy. We keep lots of secrets to ourselves. It happens.”  
“Are you alluding to that sock I found on the floor in your room? You know Peter, you can use tissues for that sort of things. You don’t have to use a sock. We really don’t want that going through the wash-”  
“Thank you Dad for making things even more awkward than they already were. You know that’s exactly what I needed.” Peter threw his hands up in exasperation.   
"If it's all the same, Peter doesn't talk about you guys either." Gwen chimed in suddenly.  
"Of course he doesn't. He's hopelessly embarrassed. I mean, look at his dad. Peter's afraid you'll leave him for Steve! No one would fault you for the decision of course. I mean look at him."   
"Dad!"  
"Tony stop, you're just trying to make him feel uncomfortable now." Steve admonished him.  
"No I'm not, I'm just being honest. Really! I mean, she did see you naked after all." Tony points out.  
"I'm just going to curl up and die now, thanks." Peter sniped from his seat.  
"I'm really sorry about that, Gwen. If we had known you were coming that definitely wouldn't have happened." Steve said. Gwen just nodded in response.  
"No promises. Don't you remember what happened with Clint last Thursday? We knew was coming and he still got scarred. Just a little bit distracted." Tony chuckled.  
"Tony! We have a guest! Stop it!" Steve cried out in shock. He really should have been used to his husband's behavior by then.  
"So Gwen, you met the family. I’ve been traumatized. It’s all in a day’s work. Let's get you home." Peter jumped out of his seat and reached out his hand.  
"But the others-"  
"Probably all deployed-"  
"Nope." Tony cut across him. "Surprisingly quiet day so everyone's accounted for. They should be here in a little while. Steve’s picking tonight so I bet we’ll be watching The Wizard of Oz again."   
“I love that movie! Don’t knock Dorothy and Toto!” Steve smacked him on the shoulder.  
Tony smirked. "Hey Gwen, would you like to stay for movie night? It's always fun and we have plenty of room."  
"Please god no! I don't even stay for movie night because you people are crazy! Gwen-"  
"I'd be delighted to! I’ll just call home really quickly."  
"It's settled. She stays!" Tony clapped. "What's your favorite snack Gwen? We've got a little bit of everything around here. You're gonna wanna call dibs early because when the others get here it's gonna be a mad house."  
Peter was contemplating finding the nearest hole and jumping into it. Maybe it’d take him to china on the other side of the world. At least he’d be able to get rid of some of his embarrassment. Still, it was possible that the night would be somewhat salvageable. Who knew? Maybe the Avengers would be calm for once.  
"Young Peter! I hear you have brought a woman home! I am most excited to see her!"  
Nope, not calm at all.  
"Hey Uncle Thor." Peter greeted nervously.  
"That's the favorite uncle, Gwen. Now you see why my heart is hurt. I bet it’s because of my height. You’ve seen first hand how shallow Peter can be." Clint, Thor, Bruce, and Natasha stood in the doorway.  
"Oh, everyone's here. Fantastic! This is going to be so much fun. Let me just slit my own throat right now." Peter groaned sarcastically.  
"Everyone this is Gwen. She's Peter's friend." Steve said kindly. "She's staying for movie night."  
"Oh this really is serious! Pete's inviting you to movie night? That's practically a proposal!" Clint laughed.  
"Proposal! My word! So soon?! Peter you must be most excited to be wed! And she has such fine birthing hips! You will produce fine offspring together!" Thor bellowed.  
"No! Thor no! We're not getting married! Uncle Clint why would you give him that idea when you know he'll run with it!?" Peter yelled.  
"Because he's the favorite. I didn't think you'd mind him having a little fun with it." Clint smirked at him.  
"So there's not going to be a wedding? And here I was so excited. We never get to have nice things." Bruce commented. He sat down next to Tony on the couch. "The other guy loves a good wedding."  
"Oh my god there is no wedding let it go! You're making Gwen feel uncomfortable."  
"I feel fine actually. I still don’t understand why you think your family is so weird."  
“You called us weird?” Natasha quirked a perfectly arched eyebrow.  
“Yes. Why would anything you guys do be considered normal?”  
“They seem normal to me.”  
"Oh! She's good! Pete, we're trading you out for her." Clint cackled. He was already up in his roost.  
"I'd take the job." Gwen shrugged.  
“It’s official. I am the only sane person in this room.” Peter flopped down onto the couch and prayed for a miracle that he'd get through the night.


End file.
